The Legacey Of Kat Manx 2
by HoldingOnToMyHeart
Summary: Kat struggles with a secret. The second in a series type thing that I am writing called 'The Legend Of Kat Manx'. You do not have to read the first one to understand this one. Rated for language, death and implied sexual violence. Please read and review!
1. Adjustments

**ABOUT THIS STORY: The second in a series type thing that I am writing called 'The Legend Of Kat Manx'. You do not have to read the first one to understand this one. Rated for language, sexuality, death and implied sexual violence.**

**Reviews will be much appreciated but no flames please!**

**DISCLAIMER: I am not in any way associated with any of the characters or parts of PR SPD.**

Who do you go to when you have a nightmare? The rangers, scientists and cadets go to each other, or sometimes to nobody at all. They are strong like that.

I used to go to Doggie after I had nightmares about Felle and he'd comfort me – sometimes I'd fall asleep in his arms. Likewise, I was always careful to return the favour, and help him when he had dreams about Sirius.

I had nightmares for a long time after we defeated Gruummn. One particular night, eight months or so after the battle I awoke from my sleep with a scream. It took me a long while to stifle the sobs, and forget the horrors of that dream. All the blood… the tears rolled down my face continuously.

"Doggie…" I whispered, not loud enough for anyone to hear, but loud enough to give me the feeling he might come to me and help me through the night.

I wanted the comfort of my friend so much, but I couldn't go to him now. He was with Isinia. Isinia! The thought of her made me want to spit and snarl with frustration. Some may call it jealousy, and I suppose, to an extent, that was true: I was jealous of my commander's wife. I loved Cruger so much more than anything or anyone else in the universe – I always had done – so now it seemed so unfair that she had somehow returned from the dead.

Perhaps I wouldn't have minded if she had actually turned out to be the kind, sensitive, perhaps somewhat broken lady that I had expected after hearing Doggie describe her. But she wasn't. She was a possessive little bitch (no pun intended) who thought she was in charge of me. She treated me like a child who knew nothing and tended to ask Doggie if he was 'sure I was doing the right thing' because it 'didn't look right to her'.

I shook the thought of Isinia away. It was bad to be getting stressed now, not good for the babies.

Yeah, the babies.

I rested one hand on my stomach and sighed. Seven and a half human months pregnant, and I still hadn't had the guts to tell anyone, though I was sure Felix knew. I was at an advantage on the secrecy front because, although to me my bump felt hard and swollen, other life forms – including humans – would not notice it yet. When our species become pregnant, it is obvious only to our species, until we hit the final, ninth month. Then we grow. A lot.

If the children's father was anyone else I wouldn't have felt ashamed. I'd be looking forward to being a mother again, and raising my children to SPD, knowing I had someone who loved me, protecting their tiny lives…

But the cold hard fact was that I had broken the highest regulations. We both had. I remembered it clearly. It'd been a particularly stressful day at SPD and we were all glad it was over. As it happened, myself, Cruger and the B-Squad were all off-duty that evening, and we went out into down and got very drunk.

Well, they did.

I tried to stay out of it. But as I said, I love Doggie so much, and Isinia wasn't with us. She was out of the state picking up some job or something elsewhere, so when he asked me if… I was only too happy to oblige.

I was the only one who woke up on time the next morning. My brother, Dr Felix had to treat Cruger, Sky, Bridge, Z and Syd for the blood poisoning, which resulted in short term amnesia. None of them could remember the night before.

Boy am I glad.

I never even considered that I could be expecting Crugers children, not at first. Then all the obvious signs fell into place. Morning sickness, feeling lethargic, fainting… I could go on forever.

It was Doggie who forced me to go to the doctors in the end. He admitted he thought I could have a bug or something, and for the safety of the base it was best to get it checked out. But by this time I was beginning to suspect the real reason. I was not surprised when the nurse told me.

Suddenly the door opened, snapping me out of my thoughts. I scrabbled to cover myself with my duvet – I had a need to sleep naked now that I didn't fit particularly well into my night clothes.

"Dr Manx, you were screaming." Isinia. Talk of the bugger. I resisted temptation to growl at the way she spoke my name. She perched on the edge of my bed and I shuffled back as far as I could. "Were you having a nightmare?"

_Go away; stop treating me like a child!_

"Yes," I responded carefully. "Aren't we all?"

"Indeed." Isinia seemed to sense my uneasiness. "I have some Sleeping Tablets if you would like?"

I shook my head. "I… can't take them."

"Oh? How comes?" 

'_Well gees Isinia, maybe because I'm pregnant with your husbands' children?'_ Hmm, maybe not. "I have an allergy."

"All the chemicals you work with and you are allergic o something that simple?" Isinia chuckled. "Strange." She suddenly looked upset. "I know this is going to take a long time to adjust to Kat." Kat. She called me _Kat_. "But I'm trying. It's hard for me too. You've had more time with Doggie, and I've been separated from him for many years. You're almost closer to him… you know more about him. That feels odd."

"Well you were abducted. It wasn't your fault." _I don't want your life story can't you just leave me alone? Just for once?_

"Mmm… I have a lot of bad memories. I don't know how to share them with Doggie. Especially know that… well, it's okay for you Kat. In your years you are young – 21 to be exact. But me and Doggie are… getting on in life." I picked at my nails, irritated. _Sod off, sod off, sod off. _"He wants us to have children."

I restrained what I really thought. Instead I growled, "Oh? Really?"

"A son especially." Isinia sounded resentful and mournful. "Someone to look after this place when we die. Don't get me wrong, Kat, I want that more than anything. But I've already lost his baby once on Sirius and when I was on that ship… It's just that Gruummn regularly used to come into my cell and… he …" she looked at me. I was chewing at a hangnail, dismissively. "…Oh… you've heard enough. Don't worry. I'll just… I'll just go shall I? If you're tired?" I nodded.

Call me harsh, but I have better things to worry about than what happened to her on Grummnns ship. And I felt it was morally acceptable to hate the woman who was exactly what I wanted to be. Crugers wife.

She stood slowly and left, sighing on the way. When she was just about to allow the doors to close behind her, I thought of something to say. "Wait! He'll understand if you tell him. I don't know what you've been through, but don't make the same mistake I did time and time again. Tell him." She nodded, and finally left.

I turned over and looked at my clock. 6:30.. My shift started in exactly 15 minutes. Doggie would be in the command centre by 7. I groaned and got up.

**Ok, one of the longest chapters I have ever written! Please read and review! The other chapters won't be as long as this, I swear!**

**A/N: How I calculated Kats age in her years – folklore states that for every 7 years that pass by in the human world, only one has passed by in the world of the domestic cat. Since Kat is part feline, I took up this rule, and divided 147 (her earthly age in years) by 7 to end up at the figure of 21. **


	2. Telling Cruger

**DISCLAIMER: I am not in any way associated with any of the characters or parts of PR SPD… yadda yadda… **

After it had been two weeks since my conversation with Isinia, I fell asleep on shift. That was it. I had to tell him. I dried my teary eyes, and walked down to the command centre, approaching my boss slowly.

"Sir," I approached him slowly, my hands in my pockets. I was holding them against my stomach, as if trying to comfort the lives inside. Deep down, I think I was only trying to comfort myself. As my boss looked at me, I dipped my head my head in respect, being careful not to display any of the affections we'd once had. "I have some news…"

"So do I." It was then that I noticed, for the first time, the tense and excited air about our commander – a sort of light-headed daze – which was unusual for him.

"Well you seem fairly enthusiastic, so, after you." I gestured with my hand for him to speak.

"Isinia's pregnant!" Cruger exclaimed, and I wondered if it were possible for him to explode with happiness. If it were, I would have to be fetching a mop fairly soon.

Me however – I could not help but sigh.

"Oh!" I tried to smile and be happy for them, but failed miserably. "Congratulations, that's great." I knew there was something I should be asking, but had a total blank, and there was a few minutes silence before I remembered, "How long? Until the baby is born?"

"Well, she has been pregnant for about a human week, and two weeks is the limit for losing a baby so she is faring very well. The Sirian gestation person is only two months, if that, so the pup should be born in about one and a half human months – early June." Cruger announced.

Typical. "That soon?" The words were out before I could stop them. "When Isinia mentioned you were considering it I never thought that…" I broke off as Isinia herself walked in, looking much healthier if anything, since two weeks ago.

"Congratulations. You must be excited." I caught Isinias gaze. She mouthed 'thank you' at me. I smiled back, and then cursed myself for doing so

"Oh, and Dr Manx…" oh great, it was back to 'Dr Manx' now. Not even 'Miss Manx' or 'Katherine'. "You said you had some news too." I gawped for a moment, wondering if I might get away with something trivial like '_its thirteen degrees outside and partly cloudy._' No, I told myself. I'd come to tell Cruger that I was expecting too, not about the weather.

"Well?" Cruger prompted again, using is hand to indicate for me to speak – in an eerily similar manner to the way I had just done moments ago.

"Um… well, I…" I sighed. "I am pregnant too." I braced myself for impact.

"Really?" Cruger sounded a little bewildered. I couldn't blame him.

"Really. Dr Felix confirmed that all is well just this morning." I replied, smiling a little. I couldn't help it; I suppose if I was honest I _was_ looking forward to becoming a mother again – regardless of their heritage.

"And when are you due?" Ah – now this was the catch. At present, it was hard to tell whether he was taking this news particularly well, or particularly badly. But either way, when I answered this question, he'd know I'd kept a secret from him, and he would be mad.

"June the eleventh. Again, Dr Felix confirmed that this morning." I answered, trying my best to sound confident.

"I would have thought that your species carried their children for longer than that." Isinia commented, and I silently thanked her for saying something before Doggie had the chance to.

"They do," Doggie's stern tone worried me and I swallowed. "You've been pregnant for seven months – just over – and you've said nothing all that time? Why?"

"I…" _was scared you'd make me abort them. I didn't want you to realise that they were yours. _"…don't know, sir."

Cruger opened his mouth to speak, but a voice behind me beat him to it. "I'm sorry, what?" Bridge. I flinched, but bravely turned round to face him, Boom and Z who were standing just inside the command centre. "Are you talking about what I think you're talking about? Kat's pregnant? As in, Dr Manx, who never does anything but work all day and all night?"

I ignored him, and instead turned to Boom, "You'll have to keep a good eye on my lab for me, Boom, I'm due in just over a month. Tell our lab rats to keep the radiation down and to move any radioactive substances to Store C." To the two B-squad cadets I said, "Feel free to spread it round. Not much point in keeping secrets any more."

Feeling rather pleased with myself for coming clean, I listened as Isinia shared her news, and revelled in the cadets amazement that we were due around the same time.

"Yes," Isinia laughed along with them. "Wouldn't it be funny if we went into labour on the same day?"


	3. Secrets

**Some references to characters in this chapter from the first book, but its okay just go along with it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I am not in any way associated with any of the characters or parts of PR SPD.**

Funny?

Not exactly.

I was awoken one morning to the sound of Isinia's screaming. She was in labour, and with a jolt of horror I felt a long sharp spasm run down my stomach. I was in labour too.

The pain was continuous, and far more intense than when I'd had the girls back on my home planet. I realised that I must've slept straight through my weaker contractions. In panic, I pelted, as fast as the pain I had would let me, to the infirmary, so that my brother could take care of me and help me.

But when I got there, Dr Felix was talking intently to Isinia: "Listen to me Isinia. Your baby will be fine, but you aren't strong enough to have this child. I'll need to take you into theatre and…" I didn't bother listening to the rest. My brother had to operate! I looked around briefly. There was no other nurse on duty in this ward. I presumed that Doggie would want to wait around for Isinia.

That meant I was alone.

Groaning at the concept, I ran. I didn't know where I was going – nor did I care – I just trusted my legs to take me somewhere safe.

I ended up in the ladies toilet.

Not caring if anyone else was in there I threw myself into a cubicle and bolted the door shut. I stood, leaning against the wall, groaning at the sheer intensity of it. What was I going to do? I couldn't seem to think straight.

"Kat, are you okay?" Heck – it was Syd.

"I…" I tried to tell her I was fine, when, with an almighty splatter, my waters broke all over the floor. "Eugh!" I exclaimed, jumping back. I realised, with fear, that the birth was more imminent than I'd thought… I certainly wouldn't be able to hang on until Isinias operation was over.

Syd had obviously heard it too, because she called out: "_Kat?" _and leant against the door.

I didn't know what to do. I stared at the water all over the floor, leaking into the next door cubicle too, until my vision span. Suddenly, the walls began pressing in on me, restraining my movement, and the ceiling seemed to come crashing down on me. I couldn't see a thing, and my throat was so tight I could barely breathe. I knew that I was having a panic attack, but I couldn't find the strength to fight it.

"Help! Help me!" I cried, thumping weakly on the door. "Let me out, I'm giving birth!" That was when the door flew open, presumably unhinged by Syd, and I stumbled out, gasping for air. I knew one thing: I was not prepared to have this child in a toilet! But I needed privacy, and I wanted to be out of the way of the Cruger family.

There was only one place I could think of, and I took off down the corridor, shoving anyone who got in my way to the floor.

The small, disused space, between the boiler room/ridiculously oversized airing cupboard and the infirmary was that place. Well, people thought it was small, but I was among the only few people who knew it opens up into an eight by eight foot room, with a dim lightbulb hanging from the low ceiling. It was probably once a secret storage cupboard of sorts. I crawled in.

Almost instantly I collapsed, and it was a good thing I'd stolen some towels, because no sooner than I'd laid down, a tiny body slithered out of me. I grimaced at the feeling – I'd forgotten just how disgusting it was – and picked up my son… who looked exactly like a mini replicate of Doggie, his large canine ears plastered to his blue scales with blood.

The panic began to grip at me again, but this time I managed to think of a plan. Quick thinking and improvisation – it is part of being a scientist. Dressing myself up again, and still giving birth, I ran to the operating theatre, where Felix had just pulled out a little girl from Isinia. Unable to speak through breathlessness and pain, I just thrust my son at him, who squirmed slightly from the cold.

Instantly, my brother knew what I wanted. Great minds think alike I suppose.

"No, Kat!" He growled. "I can't do that to them."

"Please brother!" I cried. If Felix could somehow convince Cruger that Isinia had been bearing twins, maybe everything would be alright. "Please do this – it's for Crugers honour more so than mine. He'll lose his wife if Isinia knows what happened!"

After what seemed like an age, my brother nodded with a sigh, "Much against my better judgement, Kat, I think you have suffered enough for what you have done. I will do my best to see that Isinia and Cruger accept this child, regardless of regulations." For a moment, as I watched Felix swaddle my son, I thought my heart would physically break. But I had no choice. Leaving the baby boy with him, I sped back to my room.

I thought that after all that running around, I'd have no energy to deliver the last two of my triplets. But they came quickly and painlessly and had no visible hint of Cruger in them whatsoever. I sighed, cuddling my children close to me. They were so perfect, in many ways.

"Kat?" Almost half an hour later I heard my brothers' voice calling into the alcove. I growled in response, and he came exploding into my tiny room in a flurry. "Oh, Kat, I am so sorry… if I'd have known you were… but I had to operate or Isinia would have…"

I held up my hand in a silent signal that it was okay. "Enough. It's okay Felix - you did what you had to, and I am fine. More importantly, they are fine." I grinned and Felix accepted my unspoken offer to come and crouch beside me, looking over my shoulder and the baby I was cradling – my elder of the two, a girl, with long legs and fair eyebrows. "She is my eldest." Her cat-like ears twitched at my words. "Hold her for a moment."

Felix took her, and I picked up the younger of the two, another girl, who already had a full head of dark brown hair.

"Two girls," I announced, running my finger over my daughters cheek. She squirmed in protest. "No hint of Cruger visibly in them."

"They are so beautiful." Felix purred, as he weighed them and scribbled things down on birth certificates. "Have you named them yet?"

"I have." I confirmed. Originally I had wondered if I ought to stick to the tradition of naming which I had learned on my home planet. Naming the child for either the first object you see after your child is born, or a name meaning something. My name meant pure, I remembered. My mother probably named me that so she'd remember I was the pure one whereas my half sister was born thanks to an affair… I shook my head. I wasn't going to stick to that tradition for I'd heard many names on Earth, from humans and other races alike, and I had decided which my favourites were. I would name my daughters with these names instead. "The elder girl is named Zelda with a middle name of Maria, and the younger is named Soara with a middle name of Jayne."

"Did you take note of birth times?" Felix asked, smiling a little. These were his nieces – he must have been happy. I had done, and told him them: 7: 32 and 7: 42.

For a moment there was silence.

"Just so you know, Isinia is beginning to come round. Commander Cruger has met their daughter, and his son." He lowered his head to my height, and growled at me, in our old Felle language. "I hope you know what you have done."

"Of course I know." I spat back, in the same language. "And it hurts so much! But I had to. It was for the best."

Felix sighed wearily, and understandingly. Then he spoke in English again, "Well he mentioned giving you a visit later on. I suspected that you wouldn't be in the best of moods," I glared at my brother, "and that's why I decided to give you a heads up."

Felix seemed to pause for thought. Then a smile crossed his face. "You know, Zelda looks a bit like Sasha."

I know it sounds strange, but the comment stung in my chest, for it made me think: by abandoning, and lying about my son, was I just like Sasha, my mother, whom had also abandoned me? But I was desperate not to show this. Instead I smiled. I was getting pretty tired.

"I would much prefer it if you came into the infirmary, Kat. I won't let you stay here for three days." Felix warned, raising his eyebrows.

"Mmm," I agreed. "I will move, but not now, I'm too tired. I need sleep." As Felix left, I laid my twins next to each other and settled down for a rest.


	4. Sugar and Spice

**DISCLAIMER: I am not in any way associated with any of the characters or parts of PR SPD.**

Just as I begun to drift off into a peaceful sleep, my ears picked up a rustling around the entrance to my hiding hole. Immediately I sat bolt upright, the hairs on the back of my neck beginning to stand on end. I could feel my limbs stiffening, ready for attack and the growls and spits rising in my throat – although I knew I was safe, I knew nobody would try to hurt my daughters. But that's just the way it is when you're a new mother.

The flat, heavy thudding excuse for footsteps told me who it was long before the intruder called out my name.

"Kat!" Doggie called out as he approached through the tunnel. "Kat, it's me." I didn't reply, and I heard him shuffle uncertainly on his feet.

"It's ok Doggie, you can come in." When I spoke I made sure my voice sounded brisk and professional, as always, so he wouldn't pick up on how tired I was, and to an extent, how heartbroken I was.

I didn't look up as he came in through the opening, scared of what I might see in his eyes. Love? Maybe. And seeing that really would be the icing on the cake.

For a moment or so there was just silence.

His huge frame cast a shadow over me, and I picked up Soara, comforting myself.

"Congratulations." he growled. For once in his life the great dog seemed lost for words. I suppose I should have expected that. We'd known each other for what seems like a millennium; until recently, neither could imagine the other with children.

"How is Isinia?" I still did not look up, and pretended to be engrossed with feeding my child, who was squirming for food. I noticed out the corner of my eye that my boss graciously averted his gaze.

"Doing well, Kat, thank you." Cruger begun to explain. "She woke up from the anaesthetic only an hour ago. As I am sure Felix explained to you, she had to go into theatre. There were two, and our species are not made to have twins. Isinia had not been administered the correct drugs to ensure she'd be strong enough to deliver them both."

"How come?" I decided to ask as many questions as I could, then I could get a clear view of the story my brother had spun the Cruger family, and comprehend it.

"Well according to Felix the smaller pup was hiding behind the eldest when they were in the womb. So he was not picked up on."

_Good excuse, _I thought to myself, _all good doctors know that in the rare case of multiple pregnancy, in any species not built for twins or triplets, the smaller hides behind the elder._ I didn't say this of course. I just nodded, allowing Cruger to rumble on: "There is a male and a female. We named the eldest, the girl, Rachel, and the male is named Mitchell. "

Mitchell. I contemplated the name for a moment or so before nodding slowly. Not that it was any longer my business, but I approved the name. "Congratulations." I whispered.

"And what of your twins Kat? What are their names?" Cruger was still keeping his eyes averted, much to my relief. It was one thing him being the father of my daughters and not knowing it, but it was another him seeing me top naked shortly after.

"I have two girls." I spoke softly. I already knew just how much I loved them, and I wanted it to show. "My eldest, she is the one with the fair eye brows – I think she will be blonde – is called Zelda. And the youngest, who will be more like me judging by her hair and face, is named Soara."

"Listen Kat, I hate to say it, but what exactly are you planning on doing about your job?" Cruger asked. He sounded wary of my response.

"My job?" I repeated slowly. He nodded. "What about it?"

"Well, you can't take two children into the lab and work just like you did before. I mean its ok for me, I can continue as I used to. But you… it would be nigh on impossible, and a breach of safety regulations." Cruger sighed. "And we need you right now. The city thieves and burglars are taking advantage – they seem to think that after Gruummn's defeat we are in turmoil and can't be bothered to catch them.

In all my honesty I hadn't actually thought about it. "Babies of our species can be left alone for a long time without being fed. They have each other and their reflex reactions when under attack are better than any other species." I swallowed, suddenly thinking of my murdered daughters back on Felle. "So if I have a project I can leave them asleep in my room next to the labs. At any other time, Boom will take over."

Cruger shot me a doubtful look. I gave him the 'don't you dare disagree with me' look in return. He knew it all too well, and he nodded slowly with a sigh.

My stomach turned as he bent down and stroked the side of Zelda's face with one of his huge claws. He really did have no idea what he was in these two children's lives. Anger started to burn deep inside my chest and I tensed. Soara sensed it and squirmed.

"Aren't you going to come into the infirmary?" Doggie asked, suddenly, standing up. "It's much more comfortable than in here. And you could see my pups. Isinia could really use the advice you know. The pair of you could become good friends."

I stifled a growl of reproach. I didn't want to be her friend. Not now, and not a million years from now either. I just shook my head.

"I need to spend some time by myself to bond with my daughters. Isinia and you should do the same." My words came out through gritted teeth. "On Felle, nobody but the mother used to go anywhere near the babies until they were two days old, because otherwise…" I clamped my lips shut. I didn't want to bring my past into this.

"I see. That's fine, doctor. But Felix won't have you in there any longer than you need to be. So when you're ready, there's a bed for you on our ward." I flashed a defiant glare at him behind his back.

"Thank you, sir." I said the words slowly, carefully, so I didn't sound too angry. "Now if you wouldn't mind." I indicated to the tunnel through which he'd come, gesturing for him to leave.

Doggie turned and looked at me. I studied the emotions in his eyes. My suspicions were instantly proved correct:

Where one might have expected to see eagerness to get back to his new family which he loved very much, I saw pain and regret instead.


	5. Accepting

**[a/n] sorry for not updating in ages! I had writers block for ages then I had a day where I wrote four chapters... Then my computer got a virus and I lost them, much to my annoyance! Sorry about that!**

I stayed in that room for three days and three nights. Felix brought me food and water and changed my sheets and brought new blankets and diapers for the girls.

But eventually I had to accept it. I stank of sweat and required a shower. So when Felix came for his afternoon visit, I asked him to stay. I ate my lunch, then I took Soara and he took Zelda and we walked round to the infirmary.

We had to go into the main corridor for literally a few seconds, but in those few seconds... Well I've never felt so stared at in my life. I suppose it was to be expected. I was wearing no makeup, my hair was a mess, I looked grimy and I was still wearing the clothes I'd given birth in.

But I didn't care. Me and my brother were carrying my babies. Most of the base knew the ordeal I'd been through, giving birth to twins alone. Now they could see the babies not just a bump, and it gave me a sense of pride. Perhaps it would dent my dignity and the respect I had but I didn't care. I loved my girls.

In the infirmary, Felix told me to shower and get changed into fresh clothes whilst he sorted my girls, put them into baby grows and set up a cot for them. So I did. Honestly, a shower has never felt so good.

When I came back, my girls were sleeping.

It was then that I noticed Isinia for the first time. She turned to meet my stare and I swallowed the lump in my throat. She was pale, and thin, and there were wires and monitors attached to her, making irregular sounds.

Isinia smiled weakly, "Don't worry Kat; it's not as bad as it looks." She joked.

I forced myself to smile back, although I knew that wasn't the truth. I was horrified to see her in such a state. Neither Doggie nor Felix had mentioned to me just how weak the birth had made her.

Then a squeaking sound came from next to her bed. I recognised instantly that it wasn't Mitchell. I would have known my sons cry anywhere. I wondered if he was okay – how come Rachel's cry hadn't made him cry?

Pushing the thought to the back of my mind I settled down in my, admittedly more comfortable, bed. My daughters looked content. I laid back and closed my eyes, exhaling with content. Life was going to be good from here on in, I decided.

I spent all day seeing the rangers; Syd and Z stayed the longest, cooing over them both in turn. Bridge managed to make them giggle, by playing peek-a-boo. Sky looked over his shoulder and told me that they were gorgeous – but I can tell he's not so much into babies. Even Jack came in for a visit, and held them both.

By the time night came, I was shattered. And for the first time I could sleep peacefully, knowing my babies would have instant care if they needed it, knowing that nothing could happen to them here.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, it occurred to me that I needed to use the toilet. Sighing with frustration, I got out of my bed and walked swiftly to the toilet, trying no to look at Isinia as I passed her.

On the way back from the toilet, I stopped just by Isinia's bed. She was sleeping, and Cruger was gone. The moon shone slightly over the glass cots of Rachel and Mitchell

Did I dare look? I hadn't seen Rachel yet, and I hadn't seen Mitchell since I gave him to Felix.

I edged forward a little, swallowing nervously.

Isinia grunted and I leapt backwards, but then I realised she was dreaming.

I crept forwards again, and peered into the cot nearest to Isinia. This must be Rachel, I realised. She was beautiful, snowy white with some blue flecks and a couple spikes of blue hair. She was a big baby, already bigger than my girls.

Then I sighed. Did I dare look? I didn't want to. If I did, what's to say I wouldn't snatch him back and run off with him? He was my son. My Mitchell. I took a few deep breaths, before slowly dragging my gaze to his cot.

And when I did my chest felt like it was collapsing. He was so tiny! His tiny chest rose and fell rapidly and I could hear him snuffling as he breathed. And he was mine. The moonlight shone across his face from the window above him and it came to my attention how handsome he was, just like his father... He would grow to be a strong boy. But for now I just wanted to pick him up and cuddle him close. I felt so tempted.

Suddenly, without warning, Mitchell turned his head toward me and his eyes snapped open. I jumped. My heart started racing as his green eyes met with mine. I felt rooted to the spot. Please don't cry, I begged silently, if you do I'm buggered, I can't move!

Wait... Did I just say his eyes were green? Crap! He had my eyes! My breathing picked up. I was sweating again with panick. It couldn't be! Cruger had brown eyes and Isinia's were grey... Crap!

But Mitchell wasn't crying. He was just looking at me calmly, almost sorrowfully. Did he know what I'd done? I couldn't bear to think about it.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to him. "It was for your fathers' sake..." I begun to back away, and the tiny little boy squeaked in protest. "I'm sorry!" I said, a little louder this time. Then I ran to my bed and threw myself under the covers, crying to myself as he wailed.


	6. Disaster

**I do not own any of PRSPD or the characters associated with it etc etc…**

**However Zelda, Soara, Mitchell and Rachel are mine! **

**Short chapter but necessary…**

I awoke from my sleep suddenly. I was groggy but I knew something was going on. I didn't dare move.

It took me only seconds to register the long continuous, high pitched drone coming from one of the machines nearby. Then I noticed I could hear Mitchell and Rachel crying.

"Isinia! Please stay with us! _Isinia!_" Doggie was begging

I could hear a commotion of doctors and nurses around her bedside. I could hear defibrillators being charged and used. I stayed under my bed covers, feeling sick. I didn't want to look.

Then there was quiet, except for the machine siren sounding. My heart pounded in my chest and I fought back the tears.

And then… and then…

"Time of death, 0344" my brother sighed. He sounded sad. The monitor powered down.

"No!" Doggie exploded. "There has to be something you can do! You can't just give up on her like that!"

I covered my ears with my hands and begun to cry. All the sounds droned in to one. My stomach ached and my heart was racing. I couldn't even think about what had just happened.

I laid in my bed and sobbed, my heart felt like it was breaking… for Doggie… for those pups, now motherless… It was obvious I was awake now. I hoped that they'd think I'd slept through the whole thing but my crying was too loud and I knew it.

I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder. It was my brothers, I think. I still didn't lift my head from under my duvet. Instead I just laid there and cried myself to sleep.


	7. AUTHORS NOTE

**[A/N] okay, I hate posting authors notes as chapters. But this time I just have to okay. I have recently acquired a new laptop, which in theory should mean I can update more. However... 1) The Keyboard is messed up. I keep having to restart it every five minutes because it stops working and 2) I have a really bad case of writers block :( sad times! Hopefully I will be able to update soon.**


	8. I'll Scratch your back

**A/N - sorry if this chapter (especially the end) is absolutely rubbish. I didn't quite know what to write, or how, and I think it might have dragged a little.  
As always I own nothing.**

I sat up in my hospital bed, holding a snugly swaddled Soara in my arms. She cooed quietly, and gummed on the swaddle blanket. Zelda's ears twitched at the sound of her sister moving around.

I stared blankly ahead. Isinia was gone. It was two days after her death, and the atmosphere was getting more and more sullen every minute. The whole infirmary was silent, except for noise from the babies. Nobody talked or played music. Nobody hummed to themselves as they worked or brought the patients treats for no reason. Not any more, anyway.

From the corner of my eye I could see Felix sorting papers next to his desk. He was casting me the occasional glance but I tried not to meet them. I didn't want to have to smile or say anything. Isinia was dead. And nobody would ever know how much that changed everything.

Her bed was empty, stripped of all bedding, and the monitors were gone. But the glass cribs containing Rachel and Mitchell, remained where they had always been. Occasionally Cruger came to visit them; well, when I say visit I mean wander in, stare at them for a few minutes and then leave without a word. He was obviously struggling. Privately, I had never thought of him as the fatherly type, and had guessed it would be Isnia doing most of the raising. But now Isinia was gone, and that left it up to Doggie.

"Kat, are you feeling okay?" Felix's voice beside me made me jump.

"Yes," I replied, feeling flustered. "I'm fine."

"Soara's crying," Felix pointed out.

I blinked, as I realised he was right. She was hungry of course. Why hadn't I noticed? Feeling my skin prickle with guilt, I picked her up and begun to suckle her, then let my mind go blank again.

"Kat are you sure you're fine?" My brother interrupted my thoughts again. I nodded, without saying anything.

"Okay..." Felix sounded reluctant to leave it. "I know that Isinia's death was hard on you." I tensed. "I want you to know if you ever feel you can't cope, with anything that's happened over the last year, you are more than welcome to talk to me about it, or we can get a counsellor... Especially over Mitchell. Now Isinia's gone it does change a lot, maybe you should talk with a professional to help you decide what to do now-"

I hissed angrily, as I felt my brother touch on a nerve. I was feeling very sensitive about everything, especially today, and now was not the time for Felix to be an ignorant douche bag, "Felix, don't you have some paperwork to file? I'm fine! Yes, I'm grieving for Isinia, we all are. I'm also tired. But I'm not depressed or loopy! I can cope!" I glared at him. How dare he treat me like some weak, fragile... Gah! I hissed again and looked away.

He looked taken aback, and left without saying another word. I snorted with annoyance, knowing he'd be back again within the hour trying to make amends.

It was only a matter of minutes before I was proven correct, "Listen, Kat, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hinted you were unable to cope. And I shouldn't have brought Mitchell into the equation." I blinked in acceptance and thanks. Felix paused. "But you know... There is one person who definitely can't cope at the moment..."

"Cruger." I sighed. "I did notice."

"I think he needs a pep talk. From someone he trusts," Felix looked at me meaningfully.

I threw my head back against my pillow, "Why me?" I whined, suddenly feeling like a stroppy five year old. Or Syd, for that matter.

Felix just raised his eyebrows at me. "I think it would do you good to get up, and out of this infirmary," he chirped brightly. "Do it for Doggie?" He suggested with a mischievous grin. "He needs you."

I growled in mock annoyance. Felix had played a good card there; he knew I was stubborn, and wouldn't do anything I didn't want to, but he also knew that when it came to Doggie I would bend over backwards to see him happy.

I sighed and looked down at Soara, then across to Zelda who was sleeping now. They were a week old now. Leaving for an half an hour or so wouldn't hurt them I was sure. And Doggie needed me. Felix was right.

"Fine," I huffed. "I'll go and get dressed."

XXXX

Ten minutes later and I was striding down the corridor, my heels clacking against the hard floor. My black pencil skirt and white blouse felt a bit tight from my still slightly swollen baby belly, and I hoped it didn't show as I passed my colleagues. Not one of said colleagues failed to look at me, by the way. The looks were a mixture - some were surprised looks that I was back to work so early (or so they thought); others looked at me in awe knowing I had delivered twins alone in a storage cupboard and kept my dignity (gossip travels fast around here especially when you share your stories with a certain B-Squad); others seemed curious as to why I wasn't still spending time with my children, wondering where they were; and others gave me a sympathetic look, which I hated. I tried to act as normal as I could as I tried to find Doggie.

I knew where I was going. I entered my LAB, for the first time since going into labour. I was surprised to find it was still in tact and tidy. Boom was working on my computer in the corner. When he saw me, he stood up straight.

"Kat!" He called. Happiness crossed his face for a split second, then left, leaving behind an awkward expression. "How are you, ma'am?" He's looking at me as if I've transformed into someone else, as if I've become a different person, I realised with a jolt of sadness. He thinks things will never be the same between us again.

"I'm very well thank you, Boom," I gave him my warmest smile. "I haven't seen you in the infirmary."

"Oh... Yes... Well," Boom shrugged indifferently. "Things to do here, y'know. Looking after the lab, keeping on top of all your work."

"So I can see," I looked around again. "You've kept it very well. Thank you." I saw warmth cross his face and his cheeks blushed slightly from pride.

"So what are you doing here?" Boom asked. "Not that I don't want you here! Just... It's a little early isn't it?"

"I was looking for Commander Cruger," I explained.

"Oh, right, of course," Boom seemed to understand but I sensed bitterness in his voice. "I think he's in his quarters."

"Thank you," I begun to make my way there. "By the way, Boom," I called over my shoulders. "You must take some time off at some point, come meet my daughters."

"Daughters..." I heard him murmur the word, as if he still couldn't quite believe it. Louder he added: "Yes ma'am, I will."

I made my way down the corridor to the commanders quaters. I knocked twice, only to receive no response. I knocked again. Nothing. I opened the door quietly and crept in. I looked around and soon spotted him, standing on his balcony, looking out over newtech city. I walked up to him and joined him, watching the cars below. It was sundown and people were just beginning to turn on lights and draw their curtains. For a few minutes silence between us was enjoyed.

"I can't do this Kat," Doggie growled, after a moment, cutting into the quiet. "I can't raise two such small children without their mother. I don't know how. I'm a man, the parenting instinct is..." he clenched his fist over his heart. "It's not there. I tried to make it appear magically but it's not there. I have no fatherly instinct in me."

"I'm sure that's not true, Doggie." I murmured. Even though I was as doubtful as he was, It was my job, as both his friend and close co-worker, to be supportive right now.

"It is true," Doggie lamented. "I don't know what I'm doing with these pups. I want to pick them up but I dont know how. I'm scared I'll hurt them. I want to talk to them but I feel stupid. I want to feed them, change their diapers but I don't know how."

For a few moments there was silence. What could I say? There were no words that could heal this pain, I knew.

"And when they get older. I don't know how to comfort them when they have nightmares, or how to play with them. I never had children on Sirius, none of my family really did." Doggies mournful growls were turning into howls of grief now.

"Doggie-" I tried to calm him.

"It's not that I don't want to... If I knew how, I'd give them every privilege under the sun, I'd raise them perfectly. But I don't. And I can't. And I have a job to hold together." Cruger continued. "Our plans were for Isinia to do all of that baby stuff. She was good at it!"

I shook my head.  
"Well then." I straightened up. "I guess I will just have to teach you how to be a father, won't I?"

"What?" Cruger growled, obviously not expecting my offer. I paused for a millisecond to think; this would mean extra work for me of course but I couldn't let Doggie give up on his two pups.

"I can teach you how to hold them, how to feed them and change them and look after them." I stated. "I can't teach you to love them. But I'm sure that will come with time. And when you feel comfortable going it alone, you can." I sighed. I was doing it again. Bending over backwards to see him happy. "No matter how long it takes."

"Would you really do that?" Cruger asked, sounding amazed.

I sighed. "Doggie, you're my best friend. I don't want to see you suffering like this. I want you to know and love your pups. I..." I broke off, knowing my point was made and not wanting to exaggerate it.

"Thank you..." Cruger clearly was at a loss for words. "How can I ever repay you?"

"Don't." I insisted. "There's no need for that."

He let out a long sigh, and studied me carefully. "Thank you, Kat."


	9. If you scratch mine

**[a/n] I own nothing. I'm seriously concerned that this is starting to drag and stuff so I will be rounding off in two or three chapters time.**

Starting the next morning, I begun training Doggie to be a hands on father.

I spent time with him, patiently taking him through the steps of diaper changing, over and over again. I showed him how to heat a bottle, and how to tell if it's too hot or too cold before feeding it to the child. I stood by as he fed his pups for the first time, and I witnessed his smile as the pups latched on to the rubber teat. I helped him dress them, and bath them and put them to bed. I smiled inwardly as he begun talking to them more and more, as the pups begun to respond to his voice more than anyone else's.

It was challenging, working so closely with my son, whom I loved unconditionally; I wanted to pick him up and cuddle him, to tell him how much I loved him. It was hard helping the man I loved learn to look after another woman's children. Words cannot possibly describe the pain I felt, knowing Mitchell was my child and that Zelda and Soara were also Crugers children.

But I could see Cruger's confidence growing, and witness his relationship with his two children getting stronger and for me, that made it all worthwhile. Eventually, when the children were 3 weeks and 2 days old, my girls and I were discharged and Cruger decided to take Mitchell and Rachel out of the infirmary and into his quarters.

I was thrilled! Boom had already set up the two cots in my room, for which I was grateful. Things couldn't get any worse from here on in. It was all going to get better, and be perfect.

Man was I wrong.

It was hard work.

In the mornings I would get up and try to feed them and dress them, but I always managed to end up to underestimate the time I would need, or if I did happen to estimate it perfectly, one of the girls would be sick or refuse to get dressed, so I'd always be late to the lab. Then every so often whilst I was working I would hear one of them crying, and have to leave for five minutes which put me majorly behind schedule. I'd have to take extended break to get them fed and I could no longer to overtime when it was needed. Then during the night they'd wake up, so as a result I wasn't getting much sleep, which slowed me down the next day. Work was left half finished, some was never started. I'd do a lot of practical work wrong because I was so tired and have to scrap it all and start again.

I knew from the strain beginning to show on Cruger's face that he was not doing much better than I was.

The difficulties we were both experiencing of being single parents of twins were obvious, and it started to get me down, and I was becoming more and more tearful by the day.

One day in early August, it was particularly warm in the base; we were all sweating buckets and on edge emotionally. Unfortunately for me, today I was scheduled to be doing some particularly complex programming with DBDS.

"Why won't you work?" I snarled through gritted teeth, as the computer slowed and made an unhealthy clunking sound. "Dammit!" I hissed as the same error code popped up AGAIN for the two hundredth time.

My lab rats, Boom, Grace and Sonia gave me a wary glance as they washed up equipment. They were wise enough to stay on the other side of the room when I was irritated like this. I could feel my body growing tense as I reset the system again. A spark of pain danced about in my skull and I closed my eyes, feeling nauseous. I had not had anything to drink for hours.

Just then, a wail split the air, and I quickly identified it to be Zelda, probably crying because he had lost her pacifier or was overly hot. My eyes snapped open and I stifled a hiss of frustration. I loved my daughters so much, but having them constantly interrupting was beginning to piss me off. Boom flinched, sensing this.

I felt the wary gaze of the three lab workers without even looking. I suddenly found my eyes welling up with tears, and I felt a desperate need to get away. I stood up quickly, my chair sliding a meter or two backwards, and stormed out of the lab, away from my quarters.

"Kat!" I heard Boom call after me.

I was so emotionally wound up, that in the heat of the moment, I did not even feel guilty for leaving Zelda crying. All I cared about was getting away.

"Don't worry Boom, I'll get Zelda." I heard Sonia say, softly.

Once I had turned the corner in the corridor, I stopped trying to hold the tears back. I let them go, and sobbed noisily as the salty water streamed down my face. I didn't know where I was going. Wait - yes, I did! I was going to the rec room, to see the rangers, to see Z and Syd, whom I knew would be able to comfort me.

I halted for a moment outside the rec room doors, listening to see what they were doing, making sure I wasn't interrupting anything. Like I always do.

Jack was saying something, "... In the command centre a lot recently and I've not seen her around."

"She barely leaves her lab." That was Z talking. "Which is understandable, she's close to her children there."

I practically stopped breathing as I realised they were talking about me.

"Are you kidding me, she could take the children out of the lab." Bridge now. "The only reason she doesn't is because she can't be bothered. She's too upset."

"Well she's going to have to grow out of it sooner or later," Sky's response was short.

"Sky!" Syd sounded genuinely offended. "That's so mean! She's grieving, Isinia's death hit her hard. Besides Zelda and Soara are still young, they need her!"

"WE need her," Sky snapped.

"We have other scientists to cover for Kat!" Z was annoyed. "We really ought to be showing more respect for Kat's feelings. Don't forget what Dr Felix said, guys."

Jack sighed, "Yea, yea Kat's probably suffering from late Post Natal Depression, caused by Isinias death and also by having her work load doubled now she has a lab and a family to run. We know. It's just-"

I couldn't stand to listen to any more. I took off down the corridor once more, at an insane pace. Anger was bubbling through me. I had just suffered a massive blow to my pride and dignity. My own brother was talking about me behind my back to the rangers! They all thought I was depressed!

"Kat!" A voice shouted in warning. I looked up suddenly, just in enough time crash headlong into Doggie.

"Oof!" Doggie grunted, before taking me by the shoulders and holding me at arms length. "Kat..." I was sobbing again. "What is it?"

"The rangers..." I sobbed. "Dr Felix has been... Talking to them... Now... They're talking about... Me... Saying I'm... Depressed and I'm... Not." I struggled for breath through my tears.

"Shhh," Cruger hushed me and pulled me into a hug, stroking the back of my hair. After about five minutes I had managed to stop crying.

"You know what you need?" He sighed. I looked up at him. "A break."

"Oh, no Doggie I couldn't possibly-"

"Shush," he interrupted me. "Tonight, I will pay for a babysitter and you will have dinner with myself and the rangers. Then your girls cots can be moved into my room."

"Doggie, I couldn't sleep alone in my lab without them..." my voice wavered.

"I never said you had to. You can also sleep in my room. Then if the girls wake up, I will tend to them, and you can have a good sleep." Cruger finished.

"Doggie..." I was speechless.

"You helped me out once Miss Manx. Now I think it's time I helped YOU." He rumbled. "I have already got the camp bed out for you."

"Thank you," I breathed, unable to believe it.


	10. agreement

**[A/N] I own nothing!  
Sorry it's so short. Sorry it's not very good. This is the second to last chapter. **

"I don't see why you're making such an effort," I heard Doggie say, his voice bewildered.

I ignored him and concentrated on getting my eyeliner straight. Tonight was to be the first time I'd sat down to a meal with anyone for a long time, since before I was even pregnant. Of course I had to look presentable.

I took a step back and examined the finished picture in the mirror.

"Come on," Doggie put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me, gently, away from the mirror. I looked at him, deep into his eyes, and smiled weakly. "Come on." He repeated.

We made our way down from our quarters, to the mess hall. The B-Squad always had their evening meal later, with Cruger, to avoid the crowds. I used to join them, always, but recently I had fallen out of habit.

I swallowed nervously as we entered the hall. It was so quiet and empty, except for my five favourite teenagers chatting and laughing at one table.

"Hey DC!" Jack called, looking up. Then he saw me. "And the lovely Miss Manx; it's been a while."

"Hey Kat!" Syd chirped, rushing over to give me a hug.

"Hey guys," I said, trying to be warm. It was a little hard, after what I heard them say. But I was here to prove them wrong, so I smiled and sat down. "What's for dinner."

"Pasta," Bridge stated. "Extra cheesy!"

My stomach growled in anticipation and Jack laughed, "I guess someone must be hungry."

I nodded in agreement. If truth be told, I hadn't eaten that well since giving birth, but I was unwilling to admit it.

"So how is everyone?" I asked, trying to break the ice. From far away, I was sure I could hear the sound of Soara stirring in her sleep and my ear twitched, but I tried to ignore it, instead focusing on the fact that Z and Bridge were holding hands under the table. Huh, hadn't seen that one coming.

There were mumbles of "good" and general nods all around.

Just then, the food arrived, and everyone tucked in. I stabbed my fork into the steaming plate of pasta, and shoved it into my mouth, trying not to look completely like a starving single, working mother of two, at the same time.

Conversation continued long into the night, and we covered a wide variety of topics.

It was well past two in the morning before me and Cruger returned to his room, to find the children fast asleep, the nanny cooing over them quietly.

We thanked her, paid and she went on her way.

I crawled into the camp bed, feeling sleepy. My stomach was satisfied for the first time in a long time, and I felt happy.

"Thank you so much, Doggie," I purred. "I can't even tell you how much this means."

"It's no trouble at all," he stated. "You and your girls are free to stay in this room with my pups and I, as and when you like."

"Really?" It felt odd to be sleeping in the same room as my commander again, and I couldn't help but wonder why he was being so generous.

"Really. I think it's having too much of a strain on us both, trying to do this alone. So what I thought was, we should make more of a habit of assisting each other. It worked when you taught me to be a dad, and it's working now. So why not keep it going as some sort of agreement?" I heard him pause for breath. "We will raise our children separately, like we would have done, but whenever one of us needs help we will always be there for them. A sort of 'I have your back if you have mine' agreement." Cruger sounded nervous to make this suggestion, but personally I couldn't agree more. Maybe in the past I had been a bit too stubborn about whether or not I accepted help. Maybe it was time to accept that even the most organised of people need help sometimes.

"Mmm," I made the vocal sound in an approving tone and nodded my head, hoping he would understand. I didn't have enough energy to do much else, and Doggie seemed to accept it when I instantly fell into a deep sleep, feeling safe in his presence.

It was the best sleep I'd had in a long time.


	11. Orion's Belt

**[A/N] I own nothing. This is the final chapter! Yay! !**

So that's the way it was for the next year and a bit. Whenever Cruger needed assistance, I was there for him, and whenever I was stressed or overworked, Cruger would step in and give me a hand. This method of child raising seemed to work, and we gradually built a routine.

After about a month I moved back into my own quarters, but we still continued help one another in the same way.

One night, I had had a particularly busy day, and Doggie had offered to put my girls to bed. While he did that, I was stood on his balcony.

I stared up at the nights sky. Stars were beautiful. I looked for the constellation Cassiopeia, and couldn't find it. My home planet was once part of that constellation.

I heard footsteps behind me. "The children are all asleep." Doggie spoke softly.

"Thank you for your support Doggie. You've been a huge help." I murmured.

"Me? Been a help? Kat, if I remember correctly, you were the one who stepped in to help ME learn to take care of my babies when Isinia died." Cruger responded. "I ought to be the one thanking you. In fact I am thanking you."

I smiled. He was so sweet. I wished right then that I could tell him Soara and Zelda were his... But I couldn't possibly ruin this magical moment.

Suddenly I was aware of arms sliding round my waist. His arms. I tensed but didn't move. My whole body suddenly seemed to come alive, my nerves on high alert.

"Can you see those three bright stars up there, in a row?" He asked

"Mmm"

"They make up Orion's belt. Orion is a constellation now, but according to mythology he was once a brave hunter who was slain by Artemis." He explained. "He lies in between Canis Major and Taurus. Sirius was once part of Canis Major."

"My home planet was in Cassiopeia." I whispered sadly.

"You won't see that constellation out tonight. Maybe you would in England but not here." He murmured his mouth close to my ear.

"I never knew you were so educated in astronomy." I purred.

I heard him stifle a sigh at my deliberately low and seductive voice.

"It was the part of my commander training of which I was most fond." He stated.

"I like the looking at the stars. I find it very romantic." I said without really thinking. Then I realised what I had just said.

"Oh?" he asked.

"Yes." I said.

"I see..."

I couldn't control it any longer. I turned round and gave him a huge hug. Even though I could tell it was unexpected, he returned it. I stayed there in his arms, and held on tight. I needn't have worried. He seemed equally unwilling to let go.

I kissed him on the neck, lightly. I had to. I couldn't help it.

"Oh... Okay..." The commander seemed a little surprised.

"I can't keep hiding my emotions like I have been..." I whispered.

"Kat..."

"And I'm sorry. I know you just lost your wife and I should not be taking advantage but..."

"Kat..." and then he kissed me. He kissed me. On the lips. Long and firm yet controlled. Wow. I started to shake a little. It's what I'd wanted for so long. My head was spinning, like all the stars from Orion had decided to come and dance inside my brain.

He finally pulled away and smiled, "I liked that." He said.

"I liked that too." I purred.

He kissed me again, this time more passionately. He was a good kisser. I put my arms round his neck and allowed my Tongue to slide across his razor sharp teeth. He growled with pleasure, loving every second, and put his own tongue into my mouth slightly. I let him and we kissed this way for a while.

I could sense his excitement building.

"I've never felt this way before. Even with Isinia... It never felt this... Good!" he groaned.

"Me neither." I admitted. It was true. On Felle with Frog, my murdered daughters father, it'd felt more like a forced action than this, less passionate. And my last experience with Cruger... He was much better this time let's say. And not feeling guilty was certainly an added advantage.

Then he picked me up, carrying me, my legs wrapped round his waist, to his bed. I'd been camping out on the floor in his spare walk in wardrobe but now he placed me down on my back on his bed so he was on top of me.

"Kat... I love you." His voice was shaky and he looked flustered.

"I love you too." I told him back. "I've wanted this for a long time."

"What of the girls' father?" he whispered.

Time for a white lie I decided. "He's a prick Doggie. Slept with me for one night after he'd known me for a day, and the next morning told me he never wants to see me again. I don't know his name much less his contact details. He doesn't even know the girls exist." okay... Maybe five or six white lies...

"I'm sorry that happened to you Kat. But you have two beautiful daughters." Cruger was pressing himself up against me now and I could feel... Well never mind what I could feel.

"I know. And I love YOU."

"I'm glad you do because if you didn't it would be kind of awkward..."

"What would?"

"Well... This," he seemed embarrassed. "You know… me... Kissing you... falling in love all over again."

I laughed and kissed him again.

"Doggie?"

"Mm."

"I think we should hold off having relationship at the moment. I love you so much, and I want to be with you. Forever." I began. "But right now our first priorities should be our children and raising them with good morals and giving them the best chances for the future."

"I agree. But we can do that together? Raise them like siblings..."

"No we can't... We can help each other true, just like we do now. But that is all. We can't raise the four of them as siblings. Our parenting styles will be totally different. I want you to raise Mitchell and Rachel like you would on Sirius. And I'm going to raise Zelda and Soara like I would on Felle. We can't do that together," I giggled. "We would never agree on anything. I think we should wait until our children are old enough to understand... Everything. In your children's case, they should know everything about Sirius and their mother. For Zelda and Soara they need to understand their place in SPD and the morals and such that I expect them to live by... And about Felle. When they can understand all that then we can be together."

Cruger sighed, "Okay my princess sex kitty. Your wish is my command."

"Thank you," I smiled

"But let's just enjoy tonight first? Forget the future, forget the past. Right now it's me and you. And we love each other. Very much."

And I had to agree.

**FIN**


	12. ONE FINAL AUTHORS NOTE

**[A/N] I can't express my joy at finally having finished this story. I know it got a bit bad towards the end. Hopefully soon I can start on the Third of the series (The Legacy of Kat 3) which will be told from Zelda's point of view, and be about her experiences growing up. Keep an eye out if you're interested**!


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